Sanctimonialis Animus
by cheshierKAT
Summary: She feels so alone, so utterly empty. Those eyes... she will avenge those eyes... --in progress!--
1. Prologue

Her scream resounded throughout the empty space as the sword sliced through her body. The last image she saw was his eyes, light and squinted in a sinister smile. Those eyes, those eyes she'll remember always. Her last thoughts were to never forget them, they will pay, pay dearly for what they've done. She felt her insides bursts and she exhaled her last, her body lying limply in space. She could still hear his voice after that. It was relaxed, reassured. It shouldn't be, she remembered musing, I will return…  
  
And she did, every one hundred years she returned. Each time her memory of that painful event faded slowly. Her life was repeated as sad, depressing, and each time she felt oddly alone. And now, her memories completely forgotten save one grain. She wonders why she is so alone. Why she feels she must avenge someone, something. Those light eyes haunt her… haunt her every lifetime… 


	2. Nonexistant Dreams Inside Reality

A body lie motionless in the starch white room, the sterility of the room hung in the air as a faint scent of citrus and metal. The brilliant white sheets that covered the body seemed to blend with pallid skin. A short, silver halo sprawled across the feather pillow limply. The humming of the machines around her resounded off the walls, mixed with her own shallow breathing. Momentarily, her eyes flickered. Something clicked in her mind as she was plummeted once more in the nightmare world that haunted her constantly. The humming, the faint scent of oranges began to fade as new smells and noises filled her senses. In the background she could still hear the visiting third grade class oh so slightly. She could still imagine the boys and girls her age come to visit her.  
  
A little boy, near thirteen, watched the pale girl sleep. His eyes welled up to where translucent drops hesitated over his royal blue eyes. He felt so sad for her, almost guilty. A small hand squeezed his own next to him and the blonde child's smile made him feel a bit better. "Don't worry," she told him, not above a whisper, her own blue eyes sending piteous looks towards the small sleeping child, "they said she'd wake up soon. Any day now she'd wake up!" The boy nodded softly. He knew that may not be true. He hated hospitals. He wished they'd hurry up and leave! The blonde noticed his countenance and agreed silently. All these sick people made her feel… strange, unwanted. They both sighed in relief as their teacher led them out of the suffocating sterile room.  
  
As they left, the blonde felt she could feel the patients' eyes boring into her back, as if hating her for being healthy. She squeezed her friend's hand tighter and her heart swelled. She wished, longed, to help them. Her cheeks and forehead began to warm as the boy next to her seemed to know what she was thinking. He gave her tiny palm one last squeeze and joined his friends at the entrance, leaving her to her own. One in particular, another blonde named Minako, rushed to her immediately, squealing excitedly. "Oh! Usagi-chan!" she cried with enthusiasm, "I saw you holding hands with that seventh grader, Mamoru-kun! So, what's he like? How long have you been friends?" She gasped mildly and her own blue eyes lit up. "Is he your boyfriend?"  
  
Usagi's eyes lingered after the boy, who was now playing quite roughly with another, whom he called 'Fiore'. Mamoru, she thought, so that's his name… "No, no, Mina-chan," she replied softly, still staring after the boy. Mamo- kun…  
  
Minako twisted her long, straight, blonde hair and followed her friend's gaze to Mamoru. She smiled slightly, feeling a bit more mature than the rest of the class. Ah, to be in love the first time, she mused. Although she was oldest in her class by mere months, she felt she was far ahead than the others in matters of love. Perhaps it was her acting classes. Perhaps it was because she had lived in Europe and had visited the City of Love itself, Paris. Either way, their matters of love amused her greatly. She tapped one of her friend's blonde buns and motioned towards the bus. "C'mon, Usagi-chan, we gotta go back to school!" However, as she turned, she realized that numerous schools have come to this same hospital. They couldn't tell one bus from the next! And on top of all that, blocking their way were four other children, two girls, two guys.  
  
One girl was wearing enormous glasses over her fearful cerulean eyes and a modest blue and white jumper. She cringed helplessly as the second girl raised a powerful fist, the two boys egging her on. Minako wrinkled her nose at the three bullies and stormed between them and the cringing child. The female bully was taller by a few inches, yet Minako still held her angry gaze, staring into the bully's green eyes. "Leave her alone," Minako commanded, pushing the bully's fist down by her side.  
  
The bully placed two fists on her hips and cocked her head at the blonde, blowing astray brown bangs from her eyes. "WhatCHA think you're doin'?"  
  
Minako crossed her childish arms. "What do I think I'm doing?" she said in a sassy voice, "What are you doing? What'd this girl do to you?" She motioned to the blue haired girl behind her. Before the other could reply she turned and helped the frail lass to her feet. The lass simply stared at her feet shyly and pushed her massive glasses further up her nose, she wasn't looking to warn Minako of the onslaught.  
  
Minako slouched in the reception room and held a large ice pack to her darkening left eye. Beside her, the mean girl from before did the same. And, in front of the two, sat two extremely angered teachers. The teachers kept looking back and forth betwixt the two unkempt children with looks of shock, embarrassment, and fury. Minako was also embarrassed, her golden hair was wildly astrew and her clothes and skin were filthy with mud, dirt, and blood. On top of that, their teachers had called both of their parents. As the leftover waited, she had insisted they formally make-up and introduce themselves. "Why would I want to get to know a street-rat like her?" Minako spat, glaring at the other with cold, blue eyes.  
  
"Well I dun' wanna meet an ice queen like YOU," Makoto answered, and raised a fist in an empty threat. She stuck a fat, pink tongue out at Mina and pulled on an eyelid with her index finger. The teacher, finding this a last straw, gave up and shooed Makoto from the room, leaving Minako alone in the large, cooled room to sit and wait.  
  
When she arrived home, she was informed of the final plans to move back to Europe. She was never able to tell Usagi goodbye.  
  
Usagi returned to school, greeted by her friends. All, that is, except Minako. Mina-chan, she thought to herself, where are you? Though her mind was wary, she believed her friend Minako to be sick, expecting her back the next day…  
  
Tomorrow became today and Minako still wasn't back. Mina never gets this sick… where could she have gone? Without even saying goodbye? Days passed and Usagi grew weary. Days grew into to weeks, and weeks blossomed into months. All the while, Minako was elsewhere, nowhere to be found. "She just… vanished," was Usagi's reply to her mother upon questioning. Soon, her little ten-year-old memory began to fade and as she grew older she began to question if her childhood friend had ever existed. That is, until their annual end-of-the-year festival, in which she and the rest of her third grade class were allowed to visit the circus that was in town that weekend. They were never told the name of it, and if they were, she promptly forgot it. All she knew was that her mother was wary of Usagi's leave. "I don't like the reputation the name of it gives, dear, I never really trusted circuses…"  
  
  
  
Conejita giggled shrilly and glomped one of her friends from behind yelling, "USAGI!" Usagi's blue eyes grew in fear and the cotton candy she was munching on was torn away from her mouth and landed on the ground in a sticky pink mass. Conejita climbed off the girl's back and stood beside her, both looking at what was once Usagi's snack. "I'm sorry." She picked up the cardboard cone and plucked the grass and twigs from the remaining cotton candy. "All better!" she exclaimed, handing Usagi the hideous treat.  
  
Usagi recoiled. "I don't want that now! It's all icky!" she whined, grimacing at the dirt covered sugar stuck in her face. Conejita shrugged and threw it in a nearby trashcan.  
  
"It was gross to begin with, and the circus is about to begin! C'mon, Usagi, you get to sit next to me!" Conejita grabbed Usagi's hand and pulled her towards the purple and black striped tent.  
  
The tent was extremely tall and adorned with various colored balloons at the odd protruding corners. The crown seemed to kiss the heavens and nimbus clouds gathered around it in an ominous fashion. Now that Usagi was here and up close, the circus didn't sound much like fun anymore. In fact, she seemed to be growing afraid as she began inside. Her forehead started to warm slightly as she took her seat next to the giddy Conejita. She found her mother sitting nervously across the arena. It seemed the entire city had been crammed inside this massive tent, and it actually was. Every adult and child of every age were somehow lured by the brightly colored balloons and contently strolled through its gaping mouth. A few seats in front of her sat the brunette girl from the hospital. A few rows over sat the shy one with the glasses. Across the arena near her mother was another girl she recognized that wasn't in her class. She had long, dark hair and wore the temple uniform, which is where she had seen her often. Her face seemed oddly alert.  
  
Soon enough the broad lights dimmed tremendously and the tittering of whispers waved over the crowd. Next to her Conejita murmured. "I didn't know it could get this dark anywhere." Yes, the tent was pitch black. It was darker than Usagi had ever seen any shadow; it was impossible to even see who was sitting next to her on the other side! A booming voice hushed all the whispers.  
  
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Dead Moon Circus,"  
  
The announcer's voice was harsh and scratchy, wavering with age. Usagi shivered at the sound. I can see now why Mother didn't like the name…  
  
"where your money is spent wisely. Where you will be thrilled and amazed by the most talented and skilled acrobats. Welcome, my friends, to the most exhilarating circus ever!"  
  
A spotlight blazed in one corner and revealed a mere child amidst the darkness, no elder than Usagi herself, perhaps younger. She balanced gracefully upon a silver string and long, candy-pink hair was tied in a bun and then split into two long pigtails, which made a single loop on each side before hanging straight against her back, ending at around her waist. Two large yellow bows adorned her head along with a small rosebud on her forehead. A choker around her neck displayed another plum-colored bud, from which her purple bikini top spread. Seven more purple buds were pinned onto her costume. One that connected the two purple triangles for her top, and one on each hip connecting the two violet triangular pieces of clothe serving as a sort of bikini bottom, and one on each wrist and ankle. A ruffled golden array came from beneath her bottom piece forming a short skirt. This scantly clad child lifted a pink-slippered foot and began performing a front walkover along the finely woven twine.  
  
Another spotlight blazed and again revealed another child of the same age. She was wearing a similar outfit, but red instead of purple. She didn't have any roses herself; her crimson hair was pulled back into a jasmine ponytail and adorned with jeweled golden bands. The skirt formed beneath her bikini-like bottom was a sheer silver instead of yellow and white blades covered her shoulders like spiked armor. This child was swinging on a trapeze from her legs.  
  
Two more lights blazed and two more children came into view, each wearing costumes completely unlike the former; one clad in blue wearing an odd headdress, and another in green wearing baggy pants. 


End file.
